Part 3 Tears Of Pity

Mess with me.
I am meek and vulnerable.
Get gratified by my tears of pity.
Laugh at the hollow soul wanting to be seen,
for the soul has a lot to offer.
Look into the eyes of loneliness,
see how it looks to be by yourself.
Look and you will see that there is nothing beautiful,
but all ugly hatred of not being me.
Don't run, for if you run, you will solve nothing,
and will help the meekness grow until
there is no chance for strength.
Allow the real me to come out,
for I know I have a lot to offer.

Why must there be so much hate
and anger in the world?
Why do people act worse than
vicious animals?
Why must we kill what nature
brings to earth?
Why must we have no feelings
for ourselves?
Why must innocent people
have to leave life the wrong way
before they're ready?
Why do people
need to be mean?
Why don't people care
for one another anymore?
Why does a teen woman chooses to
kill her innocent child before
he has a chance at life;
before he learns to see
what life's about?
Why must a devoted teacher
be killed by a student
who does not care
nor understand
greatness?

Every day the news gets
more sensational and
I struggle with understanding.
My questions need answers
but I don't know where
to get them.

His lips touched mine.
Everything's going fine.
His hands are on my hips.
As he kisses my lips
he runs his fingers through my hair.
For him - I know - love is in the air.
My heart beats fast.
He feels it will last;
the way he holds me in his arms;
the way I try to smile at his charms.

But wait, I made a mistake.
My love for this boy is just fake.
I just went with the flow,
but now I feel low.
I love his best friend.
Now things have to end.
I have to confess,
'cause I made a mess.

When I see you
I don't act like myself.
I am afraid to be myself.

What would I say?
Would I smile a lot?
Would I laugh at everything you say?

When I see you
what will happen?
Can you do things to me that will make
me happy
so that I can be happy like you?

Pain is something that someone feels
when he/she is down.
Pain is a feeling that hurts so bad
that you can even taste it.
Pain is revealing something that
you had inside of you.
Now it is out of you. -- It's time to let go.
Pain! Pain! It makes you go insane.
You might lose your brain.
Oh, I just hate pain!
It's one of the worst things that
a person can go through.
Pain! Pain! Please go away.

Drip, drop, click, clock
is the way time feels.
It's real! Life's real!
How will we deal
with the pain?
It's a shame. So why do we
feel it's right to steal
just to put a meal on the table
or maybe pay the bills?
One day we'll find out that it
is not worth taking someone's
hard-earned money.
It took three for me to know;
and now I see the light.

Many months ago,
a day I will never forget,
it was just starting to get cold
very early in the morning;
all alone, scared to go anywhere,
scared of what was going to be said,
afraid of what was going to be done
to me.
The news... It was not good.
I told a friend.
She felt bad for me.
I went home to confess.
Fear was my new friend.
There was much fighting
and shouting, screaming and yelling.
Running away seemed like the right thing to do;
but running away could make matters worse.
So I stayed behind and listened to them fight.
I felt sorry and sad, with nothing much to add.
Why didn't I know before how much pain
my act could bring?

Yo! Listen up here as I break it down:
Lived it.
Done it. Don't want it no more.
Tired of fighting.
I wanna hit the floor.
Living it now
as the pain keeps doubling.
Yo! Mutha $%^&@.
The brain is just struggling

Trickling down
turns darker and darker
when it dropped too late
been taken
taken away from all glory
from all innocence
Try to fight back
and be prepared
Pain lurks.........
Tears roll, tumble, and drop
Body shakes
Heart stops
No more thoughts

I walk in the house
and think to myself,
I can't be with someone
I don't love, but now
I know how she feels
about me, and
I think she loves me.
I must tell her
we can't be together
anymore, so
I called her and told her,
but at one time,
for a hot minute,
I didn't want to break up
with her.
I started missing her
already and
I didn't even break up
with her! But, finally,
I got my head together.
I told myself
I must do it, and
I did it. Life is messed up!

 

---

Do we want to be torn away from our home?
Is it that we hate our loved ones?
Or, is it that we care about no one?
We must take care of our generation;
'Cause what will become of our future nation?

Suicidal
Tired of problems
Rebellious
Emotionally disturbed
Suffering
Stoic
Elegant
Drugs don't solve problems; they create more.

I'm a very young girl.
My knowledge of wrong is more than I can handle.
My heart is filled with the passion of just wanting to be truly happy.
My tears burn my lost soul and are now almost nonexistent.
My body has lost its innocence and purity without ever finding out what respect was.
A gentle touch means nothing to my cold heart.
Around me everything seems meaningless and empty along with me.
Pain and sorrow are worn out of being with me.
Everything angers me and I can't explain why.
Who am I mad at? Is it me? Who am I?
Am I really a heartless person? If I am, why?
What is happiness and why doesn't it want to come to me?
Questions and answers that anger me;
I guess I am just a cold hearted thug.

When I sat down
I sat down a little too long.
I was struggling
when I found out I didn't really have to.
He was struggling too.
He felt what I was going through.
It was real cold outside.
And, it was a real cold world out there; both ways.
I was walking and I was weak.
And, I knew he was weak, too;
'cause we had no food, only water.
We rode on the ferry all night,
'cause I didn't know how to get help,
or where I went they had no room.
Just before dawn a stranger helped me,
showed me the light.
I think God was with me all the way.

Even in my weakness
I held onto him.
Son, it's a cold world out there
when you're down and out.
But, the coldest and cruelest thing
is when you can't depend on family.
And, sometimes the darkest thing
can bring us the light.

What am I supposed to do?
I can't help anybody.
I'm the dead doctor,
the blind guide,
and amnesiac teacher.
Just when I got it, it's ice water
in my hand and evaporates again.
For all I gain, I lose three times.
And, all I lost
was all of mine.
I am a living tornado-eye.
Things go in and become
destroyed.
I'm unconsciously conspicuous
about my calamities.
Calamity me;
I am the gum
on the bottom of your shoe
that you scrape, unwanted.
I am God's toe-jam,
picked out and thrown on Earth.
Just call me, "Calamity Me."

---

 

Life on the boarder line. Life cut short.
Survival ain't a game, so don't play it like a sport.

Gangsters think they've got it sewn.
I'd rather be in New York, but they make jail their home.

They're so confused.
Catch a 90/90 infraction; now they have bad news.

Look out now when I come through.
I have two sides of me and one is real rude.
I call it my anger; my anger side indeed.
You'll never get to know me or this mind inside of me.
When I get in my mood you'd better watch out,
you see, because I have no heart
for one in this side of me.
I like peace and quiet so don't make too much noise
because then I'll have to get loud and roar like the sea.
I don't like to lose or be cheated in a game so let me
be the winner in everything or my anger side you'll face.
That's word on me. Don't get me wrong, I was not
always this way. It was the foolish people that made me
this way. Now it's my turn to mortify them. I do have
a sweet and nice side in me, but just watch out
for that mysterious side in me.

I don't have a lot of friends
Who will always be there.
I have no family
because no one cares.
I am trapped in a cold lonely world,
with no one there.
I wish I were a bird,
so I could fly
somewhere
where, there,
where the people care.
To whom it may concern.
I really need you near.